I is for Impact

Dear diary,

Impact is a peculiar word to choose as a part of the traditional term, as most things that impact and shape our lives are not in fact things and rarely physical. The second part of it, play, also seems misleading, but what is it if not play. This carefully pre-negotiated encounter, a three-act scripted mixture of commands, petulance, and, yes, countless strikes, interspersed with pleas and whimpers of pain, or maybe, with moans and sighs of pleasure, that inevitably, if you play your cards right, culminates in a cathartic cleanse for both and blissful aftermath.

Impact play. An exchange of power, an ultimate rise up to the task counterbalanced with a willful surrender, a sinful but unapologetic fulfillment of needs and desires, a choreography of predetermined stances, positions, and moves. Impact play, the cornerstone of the lifestyle.

Uncle Ar’s room was on the first floor, same size and layout as mine, except that instead of a balcony he had a French patio door that led to the garden. Might be useful to flee the scene after all is said and done and come back through the hotel's main entrance door, to avoid a walk of shame and a chance to bump into someone I knew.

I was jittery enough from a double shot of espresso in my affogato. Sometimes Diego would forget that not everyone lived on his night owl schedule. That much caffeine after midnight was giving me shakes. Or maybe it was the view of Uncle Ar, laying out the familiar safe-to-travel artifacts: standard ping pong paddles, varnished wooden racquets for paddleball, a vintage hairbrush, a formidable bath brush, and, of course, the leather belt. Very much on the domestic side, as any weathered traveller would become, anything to avoid an awkward explanation to the airport security about that flogger or riding crop found in your suitcase. While the vibrating toys or even plugs were widely acceptable and wouldn't elicit anything but a giggle, mixing them up with handcuffs or chains would earn you a visit from the supervising security officer. No siree Bob. But Uncle Ar wouldn't be a true Englishman, if he wouldn't smuggle a thin cane, disguised as a fake flower, the kind a magician pulls from the hat.

“Since I don't know you at all,” he broke the silence. “I will break the tradition and will allow you to choose.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't mind any of it.” I paused. “Not the cane, though. Unless it's your favourite. I just want…” I hesitated. It's not really acceptable to ask for what I want. Or at least, that's how I was taught.

“I am at your service today,” he chimed in, reading my mind. “Not very typical of me, I have to admit. But, please, tell me what you want?”

“I want it to last. Not fast and hard, like a punishment.” Uncle Ar winced at my last word. “But to have time. To feel remorse, I guess. To let go.”

“Oh, there must be a list of transgressions you should share.” He took my hand and led me to the corner. “Let me see those famous panties of yours. May I?” Uncle Ar picked the hem of my short dress.

“It's so wrong, it's so wrong.” I chanted into the corner.

“What's wrong, my child?”

“You, asking for permission.” No one ever asked for my permission. Well, Aldous was the only one who could have, but the blanket agreement was that he doesn't need to. But still, it was so nice to hear the words. “Can you please not ask me? For the next two… for the rest of the night. Please?” I sped up, trying to get it all off my chest in one go. “And don't mind me if I say ‘stop’ or ‘no’.”

“Hold on there. If I can be so blunt, what's your safeword?”

“I will not safeword, I promise.“ I lifted the skirt up and held it myself, with my hands crossed behind my back.

“That's what I'm afraid of. Do you have a safeword or will you use yellow and red?”

“Don Quixote.”

“That's better.” He lowered my Azotarme shorts down to the knees, baring my butt. “Let's hear all those transgressions first, my Dulcinea.”

 

G is for Gentle

Dear diary,

Enough reminiscing over Aldous, it hasn't always been bad. We had our good days too. I will write more later. The most important thing is that I've been my own woman for five years, and I don't depend on any man. Now, as I wrote the words, I realized that I've never said it out loud. And not so sure how I feel about it. Do I want to be my own woman? Do I need a man to lean on? Feminists, don't listen. I'm joking, no one will ever get their hands on this diary, it's my private vault. 

Fast forward to yesterday. You will never believe whom I met yesterday. That's another thing to keep in the vault, no one will ever know about us. It can ruin his life, he's married, my life, it will be a ginormous mess. Besides, what ‘us’? He's a unicorn, a true unicorn. You don't get to keep him. It's a catch and release kind of a situation. Enjoy every second of it, and voila, he's gone and nothing but a memory.

I met him last night in our bar downstairs. Can you believe it, Nick X. himself in this hole in the wall, sorry Senor Pereira, hotel bar? That's not his initials but his real name is Nick. And he spent the whole night in my room, in my bed, doing all kinds of gentle things to me. He confessed that in college his nickname indeed was Gentle Nick. He's so fucking awesome, I've been fangirling for a while but, seriously, how a man, in flesh and blood, could be so awesome? Every single inch of him. Smell so good, look so good, taste so good. That million dollar smile. He can have any woman in the world, but he chose me, even for a night or a weekend, who cares. I'm not exactly a nobody myself, but he doesn't know who I am, and I like to think that the world forgot about me. 

And that goofy English accent, he can switch back and forth. You know how I love accents. Stuart was Australian, that was golden. Bobby was Italian, their English is ridiculously funny. I had to pinch Nick to switch to that posh Londoner lilt. I noticed he winced every time, same as when I bit his finger. There is something wrong about it, I will probably not have time to figure it out. 

You know how the celebrities wear hats and sunglasses, so no one would recognize them? He had glasses on, a simple pair of  black Wayfarers, he usually wears contacts, and no one recognized him. One guy in the lobby asked if he was him. Nick laughed it off dismissively. Said, I get it all the time, I'm his doppelganger. I saw it on TV recently at some tennis tournament. Yes, I still watch Bobby's matches. Ok, short version, if you insist. Bobby wanted me to go on tour with him, which meant to sit in his player's box for the whole world to see, with a camera in my face. I said ‘no’ and stayed in Ibiza, and we left it at that. Bobby was nice to me, another gentle giant.

Back to the story, at that tournament, for fun, a few tennis players acted like they were parking attendants or security at the gate. All on camera, of course, and if someone would recognize them and ask for an autograph, they laughed it off, no, I just look like him. Pure fun. No one knows how little time for anything resembling fun these winning machines have. I do. And in a tournament of sixty-four players, there is only one winner and sixty-three losers, that's tennis for you. 

With Bobby, it was getting serious, and I got to the point, I felt I needed to scratch the old itch. Not by myself, but with someone I could trust. I trusted Bobby, but he was undeniably vanilla. That was the deal breaker for me, and, of course, to come out of a five years of hiding.

But there was one time, when I got to scratch the itch. It was way before Bobby, maybe my second year living here. Summers are always hot, even hotter in the kitchen. I finished my shift at eleven, and went upstairs to my room to take a shower. It was a weekday, I would usually go to bed but I was really craving an affogato or just a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Silly, isn't it? Me, craving vanilla ice cream. I picked up a sundress or oversized top, I could never figure it out. It was too short to be worn on its own, without shorts or tights. And I grabbed a pair of clean shorts in the dark. Hint, that was a crucial moment in this story that defined the course of the evening.

So I went downstairs, the bar was still open. I've already been friends with Diego the bartender, who kept my personal stash of ice cream in his freezer. And here he was, an English gentleman, white beard, thick cigar, nursing his G&T at the other end of the bar.

Happily Submit

Forgive and forget. Let go. Don't dwell. Don't recite all my wrongdoings till the cows come home. Don't blame all of our failures on me. Don't yell at me. Control yourself first. Own your mistakes. 

Lead. Take responsibility. Make me feel safe and secure. Protect me. Watch me. Don't let me go by myself after dark. Don't encourage harmful habits. 

Laugh with me. Read with me. Watch me dance. Leave silly notes for me. Cook with me. Share a meal not food. 

Don't put tomatoes in the fridge. Don't try to sneak a pair of black socks into the white laundry. Change that lightbulb without a gentle weekly reminder. 

Tell me, I got you. Call me a good girl. Take care of me like no one else before. 

Braid my hair. Pull me onto your lap. Hold me tight. Fall asleep with me. Kiss my forehead in the morning. Check on me. Don't let me drop. 

Look me in the eyes. Hold my chin to look into yours. Touch me for no reason. Pin me. 

Buy me an almond croissant once in a while but not too often. Make me presents that money cannot buy. 

Listen to me. Support me. Inspire me. Lift me up. Don't refer to anything I'm into as crap or bullshit. Believe in me. Cheer me up. Root for my success. Be proud of me. Cherish me. 

Accept me for who I am. 

Then, I will HAPPILY SUBMIT. 

PS Yes, it's so much easier to pour my heart out to complete strangers in hope that maybe, just maybe, my words, this instruction manual, will make a difference in someone else's life. 

PPS That’s Ralph Marvell and Samantha Woodley on the picture, and the still is from a Shadow Lane video (thank you, Erica, for identifying). A famous photo, popular in the community, mercilessly cropped by yours truly (unintentional pun) in order not to get nuked over one picture. No, I will not send you the original. What, you haven't seen enough red bottoms already?

W is for What you Want

 

Well. this postcard is the exact opposite of what D/s is about. I guess it will be a correct statement for a F/M relationship. I'm just a sucker for silly postcards, corny t-shirts etc. Anything that has a dad joke feel to it, I have to take a picture.

But, on the other hand, Nick is a bit of a Service Dom, if  we are talking labels, and his and Izzie's relationship is a journey that we get to witness, so Nick is sometimes stuck in this situation. 

We pick up right after U is for Upsy-daisy.

W is for What you Want

Nick doesn't do what he wants. What he wanted was to have a peaceful and quiet evening, and he gets that occasionally, but not because he wants it. What did happen last night was: humiliation, ok, that part was actually orchestrated by him, butt plug, paddling, canning, and eventually lots of fucking in the middle of the night. And now, this morning, a request of a spanking to tears, to which he also obliged.

Right now he's finally doing what he wants, watching Izzie sleeping peacefully in his arms. After he carried her back to bed and put some lotion on her ridiculously red bum. That part was definitely against her will, rubbing on the lotion. This woman do NOT want to heal faster, like he would allow that to happen. Thankfully, after a short fight, Izzie gave up her futule attempt to stop him from lathering her with a soothing goo. 

Exhausted, she drank some lukewarm orange juice through a straw that Nick held for her, asked for the fluffy socks, took a deep breath interrupted by a hiccup, and fell asleep. Just like a Sleeping Beauty. Damn it, Izzie said to never use that expression as it reminds her of the other book and not to Google it either. So far he kept the promise. If that book was too kinky for the beloved, he doesn't need the details.

It looks like she sleeps in the cloud, all wrapped in that huge fluffy duvet she bought for Valentine's, the most ridiculously romantic gift he ever received. This winter every time they made love under this duvet, he thought of it as a magic bubble that separates and protects them from the outside world. No one can ever know of what they do. And under that duvet he felt safe, safer than within the soundproofed walls of this room. 

She didn't notice his boner he was so embarrassed of. Yes, it's just a physical reaction, she has an arse to die for, literally. But there is a right place and time for everything, and after this particular spanking it was not the right thing to do. 

Who knows, when she will wake up, she might be in the mood, and then he's game. If not, he can rub one off without a complaint. She wants him to take without asking, blanket consent and all. Sometimes, in the spur of the moment, when she's a willing rug doll in his arms,  it feels right. But not now. 

 

Izzie stirs in her sleep, and shortly her quick breaths mix with little sobs. "You don't want me anymoooore," she whines. "Because I'm fat and uuuugly."

Nick rolls his eyes, curses under his breath, dives under the duvet, and presses against her back, all at once. "Darling, I will always want you, and we made love, umm, six hours ago." To disregard her latter statement seems like a smart move. 

"Because you were hot and bothered after the spaaanking." She keeps on wailing. 

"I'm hot and bothered now." Oh please, she has a proof lodged against her sore bum.

"But you didn't wake me uuup."

"Ahh! How dare you to suggest such a crime against the princess." Nick huffs, mocking an offense. 

The princess finally turns around, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks. 

"Are you really crying over me not waking you up to fuck?" Nick gasps sarcastically. 

Izzie sticks out her lower lip and nods. 

"Well, we know how to rectify that." One ankle in each hand, he yanks her down from the pillows. "One round, and then breakfast, or you will earn yourself another spanking, Your Highness." Izzie grins with a glee. "Or is that what you want?" 

V is for Vanilla

It's sooo late right now, and I'm writing a post to publish tomorrow morning. So, a cheat day, aka a poem day. 

V is for Vanilla

No one is ever vanilla

Everyone has some sort of kink

Tiny one or the size of Godzilla 

Pause, allow these words to sink

Sleep mask is a makeshift blindfold

Playful swat is an impact play

The Look that will keep you mindful

Strong as leash, be that as it may

Holding wrists is a type of bondage

Roleplay bound are Santa and elf

Naked Red, in Halloween homage, 

Riding Wolfie, is C-M-N-F

Primal is marking and biting

'Not yet' is permission to come

Playing hard or barely acting

Don't you dare to yuck my yum! 

K is for This is Kink

K is for Kink 

I was dying to write a post about this article, since the day I bookmarked it: If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist 

I think it's a must read not only for kink-minded but vanilla alike. I think your perception of what is kink and what is vanilla will change drastically after reading the whole list.

Let me start from a simple example of how deeply wired perceptions are. How does really physical attraction works? 

H is a regular heterosexual guy, very near and dear to me, with certain likes and dislikes when it comes to the female beauty and body types. If a woman is too skinny, flat chested, so thin that she has a gap between her legs, he is not only find her unattractive, but even ugly. That includes all those gorgeous tall model-type size two women.  Mind you, that's his honest opinion. At first I thought he says that to please me, as I'm definitely not tall, size two etc. But no, he sincerely doesn't get it, that other people consider these women extremely attractive. He doesn't fine them attractive simply because they are not his "type".

Now, that checklist is massive, skim through it as you first read it. Try to count how many things from the list you did, had done to you, like in general, wouldn't mind doing if it will please your partner. Share that number in the comments, please. 

I've been going through this list a few times already, and it amazes me every single time, how many items on the list no one would even consider a kink. In fact, some are not kinks or fetishes at all, like kissing, but all of them have names.

You went to a Halloween party as a Little Red Riding Hood and a Big Bad Wolf, and on the way back home got unexpectedly aroused by your furry partner and want to jump his bones? That's quite a few from the list: animal role play, fur play, clothed male naked female (CMNF, surprisingly not on the list), possible CNC (depending on Wolfie's behavior). 

Morning quickie with a sleeping mask still on? Blindfold. Pinning hands above one's head? Light bondage. Biting the toes? Foot fetish. Biting in general? Primal. 

What is your number? Did you post it in comments? 

My blog is only five months old, and I've been browsing through the kink blogosphere for a few months before I started posting. I read tons of blogs, tons of personal experiences. If I was an observer back then, I was a keen observer. 

Let me tell you one thing I learned. Labels don't mean a thing. There is a reason why so many despise labels. No Venn diagram, with the spanking as a cornerstone of it, will ever define all the possibilities. Labels are boxes. People do not fit in them. 

Every relationship is different. Exceptions are everywhere. I will start from the most extreme ones and work my way to the mildest. 

Masters marry their slaves in romantic ceremonies. Slaves sleep in cages and are used (yes, that's the term) daily, but punishment is extremely rare, and pain is not a goal. Properties are loved and cherished and sometimes served breakfast in bed by their owners. DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl) does not necessarily envolve age play. Princesses get spanked too. Though everyone loves plushies and pictures of cute animals. Daily BJs are earned, not asked for. Respect is earned.  

Strictest of D/s doesn't necessarily mean the most severe implements, some submissives just do not have the pain tolerance for that. Some use spanking only for punishment, while being a feminist in real life. 

Some swear by both D/s 24/7 and DD (Domestic Discipline). While generally speaking, those who practice DD usually despise the connection to D/s as it's a part of BDSM. TTWD (That Thing We Do) is used as an umbrella for other than M/F relationships and spanking in general. 

Those who do use spanking as a punishment admit that the reason is a pretend reason (funishment), and it's always serves as a foreplay. Then, there are those who just like the spanking by itself, and are able to separate it from sex completely. 

Bratting can be encouraged and can be frowned upon. Spanking parties are good, but dungeons are bad. Positions as hard limits. Cane is evil but a necessary evil. Wood versus leather, thud versus sting. Belt gets extra love. Of course it hurts, it's supposed to hurt, doesn't mean it shouldn't be comfortable. Bring extra pillows. 

Black and blue is admonished by some, and admired by others. Bruises and marks freak some out, or worn with pride. All shades of red are more than welcomed. 

Now fantasies, that's a creature of its own. Those who do not practice punishment spankings, almost always fantasize about them, sometimes during the spanking. 

But everyone is on the same page about the aftercare. Rubbing, hugs, kisses, sex, chocolate, juice, blankets, plushies, arnica, lotions, more rubbing, and favourite movies. Excellent! 

Don't forget, Doms are people too. With all the insecurities and doubting themselves. Doms also have drops and need aftercare.

We are all a mess, one big sweet hot mess, whether you call it a kink or not.

This is us. 

H is for Humiliation and Humility

This story happens right after G is for Going Going Gone, but can read as standalone. Warning: graphic details abound. 

H is for Humility and Humiliation

At first, Izzie thought that Nick is putting on a show for her, giving into her humiliation kink. With all the permissions negotiated and granted in advance, taming and taking seems like a scripted game. 

Too powerful in real life, Nick always avoids spilling his innate dominance into their bedroom play. His version of D/s is timid by any standards. Sarcasm and snarly remarks are reserved for the verbal fights only. Nick prides himself for exceptional self-control, but Izzie heard him roar on a few occasions, though never unleashed onto her. 

But today the hand on her throat, not choking, but firm and unyielding, was there to convey a different message. Nick is not putting on a show, but running the show. 

"Which one of your three holes should I use first?" Izzie's full body shudder doesn't go unnoticed. "Is that what you want to hear, sweetheart?" She mumbles incoherently in response. "That was a yes or no question."

"Yes, sir." 

Nick steps away to grab a pillow from the couch and throws it on the floor. "Kneel." 

Izzie lowers her knees on the pillow in front of him and watches mesmerized as Nick unbuckles his belt and pulls it through the loops with a holy whoosh. 

"Don't get your hopes high." He sends the belt flying to the corner, taking down something with it in the process. An eyebrow raised, Nick follows the trajectory, curious if there is broken glass involved. Unbothered, he turns his attention back to Izzie. "No beloved belt for you today, I have something else planned. Lots of new toys. You love toys, right?" 

Izzie pouts at the news that the belt is off the table and shuts her mouth into a thin line, just in time for Nick's dick to touch her lips.

"What, your big mouth is too small for my cock, all of a sudden?" Izzie's jaw drops open, taken off-guard by the unusual obscenity, and Nick doesn't waste any time guiding his cock in. "Hands off!" He doesn't apply any force, god forbid, she is as willing as ever. But there is a new unrelenting determination and tenacity in everything he does today.

"Someone has been too mouthy lately." Nick continues his lecture. "Getting her way too much, talking back, forgetting her place. Someone needs to be taken down a peg or two." One hand in her hair, the other holding her chin, he punctuates the words with deeper thrusts, taking her to the point of gagging and sputtering saliva. "Someone needs to be reminded of who's in charge around here."

Nick withdraws as swiftly as he shoved himself in. 

"Did you lose all your deep-throating skills, darling? Or just out of practice with your loving and caring boyfriend? Talk!" 

"I don't know, Nick!" Berating his loving and caring alter ego was never a good sign. He prefers to be loving and caring, no quote marks required.

He pulls her up on her feet and turns around to pin against the wall. 

"Nick?" Pressing into her back, he whispers in her ear. "Nick is not here. You can scream, no one will hear you. This room is soundproofed, you soundproofed it yourself, how lovely. No one will come to rescue you, damsel in distress. Isn't that what you fantasize about?" He grabs both of her wrists and folds them to rest on the small of her back. "That someone will, um, forcefully take you?"

Nick's hand slides under her skirt and in between her legs. Izzie arches her back and opens her stance wider. He pushes the panties to the side and sinks two fingers in." Hoover Dam! Aren't you happy to see me? Talk!"

"Yes, sir," comes out more like a moan.

"What about the last one?" Nick holds down her shoulder to keep her in place, while he pulls out his fingers, dripping wet up to his knuckles, and slides it over to probe her pink hole with the middle finger. "By the time I will get to this tight spot, your arse will be too raw to notice. So, enjoy now." 

He nudges against the rim till she does open up. She rides his finger almost against her will. They say it about guys that their blood is all drawn south, and they can't think with their brain. That's how she is right now. 

Nick is lying through his teeth. He knows how much Izzie loves anal, how she will squirm, wiggle, thrust back into him, how easy it will be to make her come. But all this dirty talk and humiliation make her arousal to shoot through the roof. 

He pulls the finger out with a pop and brings it to his nose, and then to hers. "Phew! Is that how you get ready for me?" He wipes the fingers with the hem of her dress. 

"Nick! It's my favourite dress!" Izzie yelps with annoyance.

A resounding smack on her bottom, the first one since they got into the bedroom, without a failure, puts her back into the submissive mode. 

"You won't be needing it tonight." He pulls the dress up and over her head, leaving her in panties only. Another yank, and the panties join the dress on the floor. "Go clean yourself up and put on a top and leggings, on bare bottom. Off you go!" Another smack sends her on the way. 

Red from the embarrassment, Izzie scoots to the bathroom. She scrubs herself inside out with a makeshift secret brush that she uses when there is no time for enema. 

Tight top and leggings, that's what Nick wants. Of course, to peel the leggings off just enough to expose her poor butt and thighs only. It's worse than being fully naked, she hates it. But she craves the humiliation that comes with it and loves how well he knows her by now.

She adds the platform heels to her outfit. All white to contrast her soon to be scarlet bottom. And pulls her hair up into a high ponytail, like a good subby that she is supposed to be. 

"Come here." Nick calls her when she reappears in the doorway. 

He takes everything to the next level today, fiddling with a new toy, a foxtail butt plug. The plug itself is a medium size, much smaller than his dick, but, hey, it's stainless steel and probably cold. 

"Do you know what it is?" Nick watches like a hawk when she presses her legs together and clenches her butt in anticipation. 

"A foxtail." 

"No, my dear. It's a reminder of who's in charge here."

He pulls her leggings down, just enough to expose her bottom, and rubs it aimlessly in circles, waiting for her to relax. 

"Bend over." Nick reaches for the lube and spreads it generously on the plug. 

A simple command sends Izzie into a chain of familiar steps: bend, spread, hold. Nick swats her hands away. 

"Did I tell you to spread?" 

"No, sir." Hands fall to the sides. 

"That's right!" Nick accentuates every word with a loud smack. "I. Did not. Tell. You. To spread." He pauses. "You see? You do need a reminder of who's in charge." Her butt swallows a well-lubricated plug like magic. Only the bushy tail treacherously propagates the tiniest movements of her tensed muscles. 

"Corner!" Another command, accompanied by another swat on the already reddening cheek, sends her waddling to her lonely destination, the fox tail swaying from side to side by the force of gravity. Whoever came up with the idea of tail plugs, had a wicked sense of humor. 

Nose to the wall, Izzie can trace everything Nick does by the trail of the sounds. He ventured to the next room to slosh whiskey from to the crystal decanter he picked from the mirrored tray. He slammed back the wooden humidor lid after picking up the cigar. Not too big, as he is not planning to smoke for long. The leather couch creased as he settled back in to admire his work. He clicked the lighter a few times before he got the cigar going. Izzie inhales deeply the pleasant cigar smoke. 

She dares to look over her shoulder. "The fire alarm will go off, just saying." 

"For the life of you, you can't stop." Nick huffs with a relaxed smile but fishes out the phone to send a message to the staff to deactivate the alarm in the bedroom. Izzie grins, and Nick winks back at her. "Nose to the wall, muñequita."

Nick never calls her Spanish pet names, but today that's exactly how she wants to feel, his little doll. Mind reader, he is not, but he repeats, as he takes another puff. 

"Mi muñequita linda."

*mi muñequita linda - my lovely little doll (in Spanish)

F is for Fantasy

F is for Fantasy

I think I finally found my groove for the A to Z challenge. I will write what I like writing the most, spanking stories. This one is dialogue-only. Set in Izzie-and-Nick-verse.

“What empanadas will you make? I want the ones with beef, olives, and boiled eggs.” 

“Nick! Is that the only thing you’ve heard, empanadas? No comment on CNC?” 

“Izzie darling, calm down. There is no CNC. Little Red bumped into the Big Bad Wolf in the forest, that’s a scripted roleplay.” 

“Wolfie tied Red to the bed.” 

“To munch on the empanadas in peace. I stand corrected, still scripted roleplay.” 

“Are you hungry? You just finished breakfast.” 

“What’s wrong, Iz?” 

“What if tying me up will still trigger me?” 

“Why do I have to tie you up?” 

“Because I need you to push me. And we never did real bondage. Holding the wrists doesn’t count.”

“We, as in royal we?” 

“Did you have to? No, as in you and me.”

“You and I. Sorry, darling.”

“I will not allow some skanky whore that dared to tie me up to ruin bondage for me!.. What, you are not going to spank me for the skanky whore?”

“Firstly, that’s exactly what she was. Secondly, don’t have time now. But if you insist, add it to the Little Red’s rap sheet.” 

“Nick, I can’t wait for so long.”

“Wait, when is this unfortunate encounter supposed to happen?” 

“As soon as your wolf costume will arrive.” 

“My what?” 

“You heard me. That’s for CMNF and furries, two more off the list.”

“There is a list...”

“Of course, there is a list! You said we can explore my deranged fantasies within a safe roleplay setup.”

“I didn’t call them deranged.”

“Perverted?”

“No way I said it.”

“Ah! Unconventional, that’s it.”

“Izzie, the queen of all kinks. I should start playing the lottery. Please write it down for the next time, I compared meeting you with winning a lottery. Not drawing the short straw or being luckless. Winning.”

“Yeah, especially, getting me pregnant part.”

“I meant the whole package, Iz. What should I do that you will finally believe that I’m in, for better or worse? Speaking of which, when are we getting married?”

“Are you asking me?”

“Whom else should I ask?”

“Soon. If you will let me fuck you in the wolf costume.”

“That language! Little Red will have a sore bum to match her name.”

“It was a verb!”

“Sure, if you say so.”

Dreams of summer

Why the geese? Because they are BACK!!! You know what it means? That the spring is really really here, despite all the snow, there is no turning back. So, to all the good things to come: shorts, sundresses, flip-flops (on my feet or not, see the footnote), lavender fields, the smell of fresh strawberries, the smell of fresh cut grass, what else? tan lines!! Sore dreams of summer...

Footnote on flip-flops, sandals, and other flat footwear: 

Hermione recently posted about slippering here. And while I recalled reading the Marrakesh story (here) but there was something else I couldn't pinpoint that day. Only today it hit me, it was the beautiful spanking story I un-earthed one day on Erica's site, as she called it, My favourite spanking story. For you reading pleasure, read it here

Love Me Tender part 2

For part 1 click here

"It was not a nightmare or a disaster back then. It was what it was, and I didn't want to change it, but I wanted to have it with you. With you." 

Nope, she didn't get the memo. She puts her hand on his shoulder, and he tries to shake it off, but she keeps her hand there. 

"You would never believe that I wanted it, that it was my doing, unless I would put you through it, for which I'm really sorry. I'm truly sorry. Can you hear me?" 

"I can hear you." His voice is low and muffled but clear enough.

Izzie can't see his face now, buried in the pillows, but when he came back, she saw that his eyes were still red and puffy. Nick doesn't cry, period. Except that time after the knee accident, but then again, he was high as a kite, accidentally overdosed. Nick would not cry from pain. He would shut down, collapse, throw up, but not cry. But he did just throw up. Is he in pain and hiding it? 

"I said, I'm sorry," she repeats. Nick's hand snakes out from under the pillow and wraps around her legs. "Aldous didn't speak to me for a week and moved to another bedroom. He would come down for dinner, and we would eat in silence, on our honeymoon." 

Izzie pulls the pillow that covers his head, and he lets her, but promptly turns his head the other way. "So, Nick, if you want to do better, it's your hour to shine. You can take another shower, drink whiskey, have a smoke, scream into the wilderness, but I want you back, preferably soon, with your magic fingers and a dirty story to go with it." She lets her words sink. Nick stirs in silence. "And bring me some strawberries from the fridge on your way back."

This is simple, strawberries, fridge. He can do simple things. Nick takes his sweet time as he stumbles to the kitchen and back. He waits by the bed till she bites into the first one, and the smell, the smell of ripe strawberries and summer reminds him of what he wanted to do for what seems like eternity, to kiss her on the lips. 

"I like when you taste like strawberries." 

"I know." She breaks the kiss. "Go, Nicky, get some fresh air and come back with a story." 

It's not about me, it's not about me, it's not about me. It's about her, and Her Highness gets what Her Highness wants. The princess and the strawberries, I can work with that. 

Izzie smiles at how red his lips are, not just kiss-swollen, but from the strawberry juice he picked from her. In her daze, she watches as he slides down to put his head on her lap and presses his lips, red lips, against the white fabric. There is no way he won't freak out, the second he lifts his head, the second he sees the red stain. Izzie slides her hands under his cheeks to lift his head and asks him to close his eyes, and he does, he does, till she shudders from trying too hard to stay calm. His eyes widen in horror, the same horror as when she screamed from pain, and he immediately came inside her. 

This time he stumbles out of the room in no time, grabbing his jeans from the floor, and into the kitchen. 

"I will change! Nick, come back."  

To be continued.

Love Me Tender

Let' start the Valentine Day week with this throwback to the earlier chapter in Izzie and Nick relationship, when they just started exploring their kinks and roleplay.

When Nick comes back from the bathroom, Izzie is sitting against the headboard, in the same white nightie, now down to her knees, legs stretched and crossed, no doubts, it is his Izzie, somber eyes, tight lips, ready to read him the riot act. Nick falls on the bed, face down in the pillows, if she doesn't get the hint, he pulls another pillow over his head.

Red flags, where do I start? What can go wrong, if you both have some sort of virginity kink to work through and decide to roleplay a do-over of the first time, her first time? Everything! Nick has been with a virgin only once when he was twenty, and she was eighteen, it was not bad, but he could do so much better now, if he could give some advice to his twenty-years-old self. Ha! Right, define 'better'. Nick always knew that something went wrong between Izzie and Aldous on their wedding night. No judgement, but seriously? Then again, she was only twenty, doing only ballet, and that douche Aldous was watching her like a dog and not letting anyone near her since she was sixteen.

Izzie wanted to start everything from scratch, a fresh start. And if it meant to replace Aldous in popping her cherry, Nick is in, pun thoroughly intended. All joking aside, if it would help her to put Thailand behind, he would do anything. Their sex life went back to normal, but she still had her nightmares. and he still hasn’t seen her fully naked, she would always leave something on. He asked her once, if a sleeping mask counts as clothes, she laughed but that was it. He would say and do anything to hear her laugh.

They decided to do it on the weekend, in the most remote chalet in that ski village they both liked. Good choice! Izzie announced it on Tuesday and kicked him out of her bedroom to make sure that by Friday night he will be horny as hell.

When they were finally alone, he didn't even notice when everything went pear-shaped and turned into a shitshow. It was not his Izzie there but her twenty-year-old version, wide eyed, antsy, jittery, restless. That's when Nick asked her to call the whole thing off for the first time. She insisted that they need to consummate their marriage, or it's not real. He wanted to calm her down, but she wouldn't let him talk. It felt like they were in Jumanji, trapped on this giant bed. Her anxiety spread onto him like a wildfire, he was shaking like a leaf, like it was his first time too. They kissed like two horny teenagers, not aware of the existence of the third base. Real Izzie would be soaking wet by then. Young Izzie didn't let him touch her or kiss her anywhere below her waist, let alone undress her.

She asked him to take everything off, and her eyes widened even more, when she looked down, like she'd never seen a naked man before. It was surreal. Her tanned face went pale. He begged her to stop. She asked him to make babies, right now. She laid on her back, pulled the nightie up, and opened her legs. He saw that she still had her panties on. They both blushed as he pushed her knees back together and lifted her bum to slide the panties off. And again, her legs fell open for him.  He knew that Izzie could flex and hold any muscle of her body, but it felt insanely tight. He stopped and asked her, he does not remember what he asked her, but she grabbed his shoulders and demanded not to stop until it's over. And as gently and slowly as he could, he did. Love Me Tender Award of the Year.

He noticed the forgotten bottles of lube and the lavender oil on the nightstand. Izzie never needed lube, they used lubes and oils just for fun. Now he wished he would remember to use it. What if he would pull out and put some, will she notice? It's still unbearably tight. Izzie, that loved rough sex, any sex, was motionless under him. She was quiet at last, and he whispered dirty nothings into her ear. She blushed and finally smiled. She lifted her hips, and he helped her to wrap her legs around him. He kissed her before picking up the pace. He was watching her face, eyes shut tight, mouth open, forming little o's with every shallow thrust. They were doing great, all things considered. He wanted to bite down that lip to stop it from quivering. He leaned forward when she opened her eyes, full of tears she couldn't hold back anymore, and screamed at the top of her lungs, screamed his name, a scream that turned into uncontrollable sobs, and his world turned upside down.

"Nick?" Izzie pulls him back into the present.

How on earth did this happen, how could he misread it so badly, the signs that she was in pain, that quivering lip? Nick presses his hands on top of the pillow that covers his head, an international sign for 'I don't want to hear a word'. But yet she speaks.

For part 2 click here

Jamming

Jamming, like making jam. No, keep reading, plow through, there is a story at the end, I promise. 

I'm notoriously bad at choosing fruit. To the point that I've been told many times, we're out of apples but don't buy any, I will buy them myself. 

I have no problem choosing vegetables, zucchinis, cucumbers, carrots, an occasional daikon, all firm, not too long, not too thick, just the right size. Or bananas. Or ginger, but that's a story for another time. 

So here I am, making another small batch of jam out of wrongfully chosen peaches and plums. 

And now the story. 

She slides back on the edge of the bathtub, now her naked bum, a living metaphor of a low-hanging fruit, a peach or an apricot specifically, a super magnet to his eyes and lips. Suffice to say that a drunken lounging in an empty bathtub with a bottle of quickly diminishing whisky never paid off so well.

Drowning in a heavy scent of vanilla, probably from the body wash she used after, well, after the unfortunate events of this never-ending night, he tips the bottle again. Vanilla, no siree Bob, he will show Her Highness that vanilla he is not.

He leans over to the right cheek. At first, it's just a kiss, his teeth graze over the soft flesh, sucking it in to leave a mark. He licks the sting away. His hands push her hips down to hold her in one spot. The encouraging moans she makes, and the way she slow rolls her hips despite his tight grip. He lounges into the same spot, now biting into it harder, holding onto it, waiting for her to move away, out of his reach, but she doesn't. She wiggles and moans and squirms but doesn’t try to move away. He lets it go and moves to the next spot, then the next one, and one more, closer and closer to her pinkhole.

It's all in the details

This is a Sharon Kovacs picture off Spotify 

You're probably confused by the picture above. I will get to that in the moment.

Now, every year in December Spotify graciously presents me with a list of songs and artists I listened the most throughout the year, all wrapped up in a fancy slideshow. No surprise there, Sharon Kovacs got the top spot. I really like her seductive voice with a tiny bit of a lisp. This song, Bang Bang, is not only quite kinky, here is a bit of a taste of Ms Kovacs' lyrical talents:

Baby oh, come to me

Like you used to down on your knees

You do as you're told

Wearing your blindfold

Here on the rubber sheet

Baby, don't be scared

You're all tied up and going nowhere

So take a moment

Savor the moment

And then realize how much I care

...but it was a completely different line that kept me awake at night:

You're chillin' out at minus ten degrees

Inside my deepfreeze

Mind you, the song is about a murder, I listened to it numerous times, and that line "minus ten degrees" rubbed the wrong way, time after time. Finally, my inner nerd takes the matter into its own hands and goes to check the freezer setting (hence, the picture) AND googles the recommended settings as well. 

My inner nerd to Ms Kovacs: 

Darling, your food and whatever else you are keeping there will go bad, if you won't change the setting to minus eighteen. Please, for my sanity sake.

Or maybe she knew that it should be eighteen, but the word is one syllable longer, and she decided to use ten instead. Or being the artistic spirit, she doesn't care about her freezer setting and doesn't use it at all. I wonder, if I found that line, are there any other trolls, for the lack of a better word, already discussing it on Reddit or Quora. Should I research the matter any further? Should I make Google cry from desperation? Hmm, so many questions. 

Thank you for reading my PSA and the vent of the day! You are more that welcome to vent in the comments.

What matters/Inspection

This post was inspired by Kink of the Week (KOTW), and this week's kink is Inspection! I clicked on the red lips on lovely Fondles website, and voila, here I am, rambling about inspection...

How did I miss it, oh how did I forgot to mention all these little things in my recent recollection, My Submission. 

Inspection, such a cold, clinical word. Inspection, if he would only know, how all the little things he does are called in the world of kink, he would freak out, step back, clam up. My journey so far is one-sided, taking and gratefully accepting whatever he doles out, without putting any labels on it, without calling it what it really is.

Inspection, his gentle fingers graze the contours of my face, my nose, eyebrows, my mouth. Like in the movies, when they always check that the newborn has all ten fingers and toes, they can see it but still always count. He slides the fingers inside my mouth and pulls it at the sides to open wider, touching my tongue and my teeth, and I start sucking at his fingers in earnest. 

His fingers poke into my nostrils, not to deep, just mockingly check if they are clean enough. Then the same with my ears. The fingers squeeze and mush my cheeks, with intent but without causing any pain.

He checks on the hollow of my navel, if it's washed properly. Full confession, I used to skip, or more like neglect it, and an occasional tiny bit of lint would get stuck in there, bringing up an aha! reaction on discovery. Not anymore, the navel passes the inspection with the flying colours.

He smells my armpits, and it will depend how late in the day we are, since I last took the shower. No, he doesn't like me to take the shower right before, always quoting Napoleon's letter to Josephine, “I will return in three days. Don't wash!” 

By that point my smell changes, it always changes when I'm aroused, to the one resembling the smell of a skunk or weed. Haha, I'm Mary Jane, I'm Spartacus. He laughs it off with a fake disgust.

He grabs and squeezes all my curves, including not the sexiest ones, hello tummy, that's so hard to get rid off, and sometimes I protest, hey, everyone has extra curves when they lay on their side, riiight?

Through moans and giggles he turns me into a ragdoll, his ragdoll, and he didn't even touch me down there yet. That's reserved for the main course, we are not done with the appetizers.

These undeniably possessive touches that claim me without marking. That proclaim, you're mine, louder than any words spoken. That take me and make me his, while giving so much. That remind me of who's-who and what matters.