Sunday's Best

 

The picture is from Men's Health, and the text is from Tumblr. Sunday is a slow day, I thought to share some fun here:

bolognacolonel-deactivated20150

blowjob advice:

make sure beforehand to tap the tip with your finger and say, “is this thing on?”

Dreams of summer

Why the geese? Because they are BACK!!! You know what it means? That the spring is really really here, despite all the snow, there is no turning back. So, to all the good things to come: shorts, sundresses, flip-flops (on my feet or not, see the footnote), lavender fields, the smell of fresh strawberries, the smell of fresh cut grass, what else? tan lines!! Sore dreams of summer...

Footnote on flip-flops, sandals, and other flat footwear: 

Hermione recently posted about slippering here. And while I recalled reading the Marrakesh story (here) but there was something else I couldn't pinpoint that day. Only today it hit me, it was the beautiful spanking story I un-earthed one day on Erica's site, as she called it, My favourite spanking story. For you reading pleasure, read it here

For Hermione

Limerick #9 - For Hermione

A brilliant blogger named Hermione

Gives shivers to my heart and my knees

Lives north of forty-four

Shovels snow off her door

Between spankings and brunches, oh my oh me

To read all Limericks click here.

Bonnie's Corner

 

Limerick #6 - Corner time (originally written for Hermione's brunch)

Corner time is a heavy affair

Sighs, regrets, pouts, hiccups to  spare

With red bum on display

It's the price one must pay

For the pleasure of poking the bear

Bonnie: It's hard to rhyme my name.

Me: Hold my beer...

Limericks #7 and #8 - For Bonnie

Of things that will teach you our Bonnie

None can be described as baloney

Legs up, OTK, 

Hold tight, no escape,

Paddled, belted, and caned, plump or bony

Tutorials, stories, or brunches

No dungeons, no punches or munches

Whether spanko or not

You will end up hot

With smart bottom and panties in bunches 

To read all Limericks click here.

Carpet Beater Bonanza

#3  Carpet Beater

Carpet beater was laying around

For the carpet not bum soft and round

But the schoolgirl she is

White socks, down on her knees

Met its sting with formidable sound

This limerick was inspired by Perfectdt

#4  Adventures

Biting chips is a dangerous venture

You may end up in need of the dentures

But good girl that she is

Fondles still did blow BIKSS

Then she blogged all her recent adventures

And this one by Fondles

#5 Bonanza

JM flew a plane called Bonanza

Where rules are no panties or pants on

With the flick of her heel

She cranked up the thrill

Roger that, either hands off or hands on

Inspired by  Jean Marie

To read all Limericks click here.

Deceits in D.C.

Limerick #2

There is this girl in D.C.

That can't properly sit on her seat

Her boyfriend got fed

Up and painted it red

But... forgave all her silly deceits

P.S. No national monuments, even as phallic as this one, were harmed in the production of this limerick. Picture from Wiki. I can't believe I traveled all over the world but Washington is still on my bucket list.

For Limerick #1 called Mona Lisa Cries click here. Yay or nay on limericks? They are fun to write.

All limericks so far are about Izzie, who else. Head over to My stories if you are new to this blog. 

To read all Limericks click here.

Mona Lisa Cries

There was once a girl from Ibiza

There was nothing else that would please 'er

Than the six of the best

May your hand never rest

Smile for me, plead and cry, Mona Lisa

PS. I swear, I didn't paint her... red 

To read all Limericks click here.

The World is My Oyster

 

I don't know how about you, but I like to check where the visitors to my blog come from, I mean from which countries. Blogger provides you with the total number per country for a chosen period of time and a pie diagram.

When it comes to pies, obviously the biggest, by a mile, chunk is taken by US, how else, followed by the other two coincidentally English-speaking countries, UK and Canada. UK's slice of pie is a tad bigger than the Canadian, which I attribute not to the general kinkiness of UK people, but sheer difference in population. UK has 67 millions, and Canada has only 38 million. Yes, as the population goes, Canada is quite a small country, do with that useless or not piece of information as you will.

Now, there are a couple of anomalies that are quite easy to decipher: one is a tiny country in Southeast Asia that also is a former British colony, and the other one is a small-ish European country where a well known Englishman with certain interests resides. There is also Australia, no wonder there. **Wink-wink, don't be shy, I know that you occasionally read my blog. 

But what really surprises me that Germany is making the top five, and I don't know any of my commenters from there. And it's a substantial number of clicks. France and Spain are the other two but with smaller numbers attached to it.

So, please my German, French, and Spanish lurkers, drop a line, even anonymously, and resolve this mystery for me. 

On this blog, Love Your Lurkers day is every day!!

PS. Do you like oysters? Surprisingly, if bought in a supermarket in a wooden box, it's quite inexpensive treat, compared to what restaurants charge per piece. All you need is an oyster knife or even a flat screwdriver, to learn how to shuck them, and a sliced lemon. We learned that, you know, when we were spending all our time at home, and I had a craving for oysters.

Careful, don't stab yourself, please! Better hold it with a towel. And, you're welcome.

PPS. By the way, oysters are aphrodisiacs, perfect for Valentine's Day. You're most welcome!

Bum-mer

Let's talk about the weather, a very safe topic, even safer than food. Because there are vegetarians, vegans, pescatarians, gluten free, carb free, dairy free, fat free and sugar free. I'm trying to be food free, which other people call 'intermittent fasting'. What a boring name for a diet, intermittent fasting! I'm definitely forgetting many other ways to make yourself miserable. Once I tried bread diet, it's a happy diet as it boosts your serotonin. Did I lose weight? Take a wild guess, I wouldn't be trying 'food free.'

You will be surprised, but there are people out there, that unlike most of us, have trouble gaining weight, I know one in real life and one fictitious, Izzie. I even wrote a song for her called, Pound song. Do you want me to post it??

Back to the topic at hand, or in hand? The weather. After a few days of snow, the sky is finally bright blue and it's sunny, which means super cold but looks so beautiful and crisp through the window.

Bummer, I forgot to snap a picture. Bum-mer, get it? I forgot to put bum-mer on that great list of spanking expressions... And you thought that I would write a post that doesn't mention spanking, shame on you! You earned one right now!

For the full list how to say spanking without using the word, read the post called Let's start it with a bang here

The picture that you see is from a few days ago. You see how the sky is white? Now it's a gorgeous blue.

Cheers!

Asking for directions

Oh, lighten up a bit. Not everything has to be about D/s.

I heard a joke recently: I changed the GPS voice to male, and now he says, "Just keep driving. It's somewhere around here."

In our version it would be somewhere along the lines:

Me: May I punch in the address into GPS?
Him: No, I know where it is.

The jokes about men not willing to ask for directions, it's like beating a dead horse, but still, I wonder if someone out there wrote a thesis or two about the psychological roots of this fascinating phenomenon..

I have to admit that with years I became more tolerable as a backseat driver, now just occasionally inquiring if he is training for the next Formula 1 race, when he switches lanes not according to my definition of normal. Or asking gently not to cause me a heart attack on the road, as it would be a great inconvenience to him.

What kind of backseat driver are you?