V is for Velvet

 

Dear diary,

I thought of many words that start with V. Vicious, vile, vengeance came to mind. I'm not seeking vengeance anymore, karma will eventually get everyone who did me wrong. But vile things keep happening to me, none of them I wish to share in my diary, a home of my happy place.

When I think of a truly happy place, I see a green velvet couch. I don't know where it will be, in which house or even in which country, but I can see the couch so clearly. Apparently, they are a thing, both on the internet and in real life. An interior design darling for many years, unassuming soft velvet in any shape and form, I prefer those with big tufted arms, so comfortable to bend over. In many hues of green, from British racing green to dark khaki and back to lemony neon green of tennis balls. For me, the more neutral and soothing the colour is, the better, because many nasty and naughty things will happen on and around that green velvet couch, or sofa, as Nick would call it. 

With blankets and throws, so soft and cozy, folded neatly at the end of the day or left crumpled in the corner, to cover, to hide, to cuddle, to keep warm, to fight the inevitable chills I get at the end. With an array of oversized pillows in magenta, baby pink, and orange, some made of leather, some shaggy, some in matching velvet, each to play its own role, to fit under the right limb, to tuck, to prop, to lift. 

Right now I'm bent over the back of the couch, face down and hands clutching the pillows, naked from the waist down, my ass sticking high in the air. Not my favourite position, just a nudge better than the dreadful legs up, but I can decipher why Nick chose it. With my high heels on, my ass is at the perfect height for the main event, for him to fuck me after. 

Not sure why people call it a main event, as for us the main event starts when he guides me over and throws a blanket over the couch, not so much to protect the couch from the aftermath, but for my comfort and arousing soft touch of the fabric against my naked skin. Or even earlier, when he announces the verdict, how many strikes and with what I deserve for my imaginable crimes. Or what roleplay is in the cards, out of a long list I confessed to him earlier. I live and breathe for the moment he takes my hand in his and announces, “It's time.”

My crime today was leaving the pool toys in the pool and, gasp, a martini glass made out of real glass on one of the floats. In my dreams I drink martinis with extra olives, smoke an occasional cigarette, and wear skimpy bathing suits. This time it was an orange bikini, two tiny triangles over my tits and a thong, with full access to my butt cheeks. Nick still had to make a show of taking it off me and gagging me with it, for some peace and quiet, as he noted. 

A potential broken glass was a serious crime that required an equally serious weapon, so Nick brought out the cane. Nough said. The martini glass was obviously made out of clear plastic, I would never go near the pool with real glass, but Nick was itching to try the new cane on me, hence the big crime. 

“Why can't you be more careful? Why do I have to resort to the cane?” He tapped my butt cheek lightly.

I mumbled through the bikini bottom. 

Nick was faced with a dilemma, either the gag is out, or his speech will become a monologue. He loved my smart mouth more than his peace and quiet, and the gag was out with a caution. “That was a rhetorical question, keep it quiet, or I will gag you again.”

I just nodded in agreement. In the dream, Nick was as funny and clumsy as in real life. We've already fooled around on the same green velvet couch and knocked down the whisky tumbler he left on the side table. The next half an hour we spent on all four, trying to find all the broken glass pieces and shaking off the rug. Since I was already on all four, one thing led to another, and the first round, forewarned by some nice warm-up with a leather paddle, was out of the way. 

I didn't invent that trick: cum first, spank later. I read about it and always wanted to try. Today it just happened without any planning, and I could see it by the playful glint in Nick's eyes, he was happy to take it off my bucket list.

Maybe my martini glass was imaginable, but my ass was paying for Nick's own mistake. Kind of the same way like the birthday spanking works. It might be his birthday, but I will be getting the spanking, to his and my delight. On the same green velvet couch.

PS Picture from Tumbler.

T is for Trying

Dear diary,

We are all trying. Sometimes trying to get better, to achieve certain goals, to heal. My real life took another unexpected turn to the worst, I didn't know how that was even possible. I'm still stupidly refusing to call for any help, trying to dig out of this hole all by myself. My only distraction from the nightmare I'm living through are my dreams and my writing. I write them down whenever I have free time, which is very little these days, trying not to miss any details of my as elaborate as ever fantasies.

But Nick of my dreams, he doesn't need to try, he is already perfect. Real life monsters brought to life were utterly ugly, the more famous Frankenstein and the less famous Golem of Prague. 

Since Nick was both real and dreamt up, he was perfect, in the looks department too. Standing tall at six foot two, no gray hair in sight, no extra pounds around the waistline. Suits bespoke, shoes shined, hair trimmed, five o'clock stubble exactly at five o'clock, cock always at twelve, and his spunk tasted like he was on a steady pineapple diet.

And right now he was where we left him, in that spacious log cabin kitchen, combing through the utensils drawer. I opened the fridge for the third time to stare at the same dainty merengue concoction with raspberries and strawberries on top. Of course, it's the same cake! Even in dreams the cakes don't change from opening the fridge door a few times. “We have Pavlova for dessert. Are you ok with it?”

“There should be ice cream in the freezer, if you don't want it. Wait, why? You brought it, but you don't want it? It's not about the dessert, isn't it?” He tried something wooden against his palm and cursed under his breath. “I propose to start with dessert. Any preference?” 

A different tapping sound yanked me from the stupor. Nick raised one eyebrow, his signature move, at the artful arrangement he laid out on the counter: a wooden spatula and two long stirring spoons. I knew he would go for the spatula, as it resembled the riding crop in shape and was the least domestic looking. 

“All more or less the same,” I shrugged my shoulders, projecting my real life anxiety into the dream.

“What's wrong, love? You don't sound your usual self. Let me help you.” He cleared the long reclaimed wood table of the flower vase with white tulips. All flowers in my dreams resembled lotus flowers lately, no Dr Jung needed. 

I just noticed that I was wearing nothing but a red hearts on white apron, barely covering my tits, might be a nice sideview for his eyes only. The red leather garter belt and thong couldn't really count as clothing. And the red heels complimented my mile long legs. My legs aren't bad, but I think I can also benefit from some fantasy exaggeration. My whole outfit had a rather interesting contrast with Nick's grey sweatpants and white t-shirt combo, another cliche, known as a lazy Sunday boyfriend attire. Again, Dr Jung can take a day off.

“But… but we eat on this table,” I hesitated.

“I knew you would say it,” my mind reader walked back into the kitchen, holding a fluffy orange blanket. One smooth move, and the blanket covered the table like a tablecloth. Nick tapped again, this time the blanket absorbed the sounds, but just seeing his hand buried in the orange folds was doing things to me I didn't want to admit even in a dream. “Hop on, darling, we have plenty of time.”

“No, we don't. The timer is going to go off any time.” I whined some more. Nick lifted me up and plopped on the edge of the table. That blanket sure felt good against my naked thighs.

“I'm very much capable of turning the oven off.” Nick stepped in between my legs and took my apron off. “When the timer will go off.”

“I feel like I'm on a clock.” I looked at the floor.

“Let's hear it out.” Nick glanced at the oven. “There's about forty minutes left. What's the worst that can happen if you don't take it out on time?”

“The lamb will get a bit dry?” I posed it as a question.

“I assure you, I can live with that.” Nick walked over to the oven and looked at the controls. “And if I turn it off right now and leave the lamb inside?”

“I guess it will get ready, maybe a bit rare.”

“Choose one, Izzie.” Nick cranked up the sternness. 

“Turn it off,” I said. “Please.” I heard the beep, and the oven lights went off.

“On your back, Izzie, and relax.” Nick ordered from the other end of the room.

I dropped on my back, legs in the air. Like a clock, my hands flew above my head to grab onto the soft blanket.  “I'm trying!”

M is for More

Dear diary,

The shit hit the fan in the most absurdly destructive manner. I always knew that my time on this island will eventually run out, but never expected it to happen so abruptly. To pack up the bags and leave. I'm done packing and almost ready to leave. This will be the last entry in my diary, which I intend to lock in Mister Pereira's personal safe box, just to be sure. By the way, he insisted on driving me to the airport today, what a nice man and a gentleman, through and through!

Isn't it ridiculous? The letter M is the 13th in the alphabet, concluding the first half. I could have dedicated it to the Miracle baby or the three Magic nights. Yes, you heard it right, Nick came back, I forgave him, and we had another magic night together. Or the Morning after, right before shit hit the fan. 

M could be for Magnolias. Few years back, when I was still living in New York, it snowed in April. The pink magnolias were in full bloom, each flower had a dollop of snow on top, like whipped cream on strawberry sorbet.

And yet, I chose More. In my few years here I learned to be more grateful for what I already have and stop wishing for more. It's another More that is on my mind. Not constantly, but having an ubiquitous way of reminding me of who I am. The barely audible More I whisper at one or two tentative smacks on my butt, the hesitation to ask or to prompt. The desire of finding the one whom I won't need to prompt, who will magically know the perfect Goldilocks equilibrium, between too little and too much, and deliver just that. 

I had a dream last night. I know, it sounds like a song. Since I met Nick, in my perverted dreams I substitute the faceless spanker with him. Works like magic, especially knowing what kind of magic he does deliver with the holy trifecta, his mouth, fingers, and cock.

I'm quite particular about my dreams, whether scripted, or not. In one of them, I was shot, yes, murdered, at the end of it. And while my already motionless body was laying on the floor, eyes wide open, I noticed dust bunnies and dog hair on the shaggy carpet. Appalled, I woke up. So, don't mind me when in the middle of being bent over the ping pong table, I will note that the area under the net was not properly dusted. The life of a mildly OCD person. Ping pong, that was the theme and the setting, featuring a ping pong paddle, nasty thing with the right swing. Oh, the swing Nick had.

We were just rallying, warming up. Nick was in a particularly cheerful mood that kept improving with each sip of whisky he took from the crystal tumbler on the side table. The classic nineteenth century surroundings, the curved furniture upholstered in softest hues of blue, silk Persian rugs, numerous paintings in heavy gilded frames, adorning the wallpapered walls, reminded me of the house in Hudson Valley and Nick's current abode, but it was neither, rather an unidentifiable location. The ping pong table in the middle of the room looked out of place, which didn't bother either of us.

I'm not sure at which point we made a bet. It was pretty clear why I would make such a bet, without knowing how good of a player he was. Best of five. The number of spanks will be determined by a point difference that Nick will win the match. He was courteous enough to give me an example. 

“Say, if the final score is 21 - 7, you get fourteen swats of a ping pong paddle, on the bare, of course.”

I cockily asked, “What if I win?” 

His lips stretched into a mischievous smile. “I will take a full celebratory shot of whisky.” And he cheered me with the tumbler in his hand in that Gatsby-esque gesture. 

The chutzpah! I thought, worse case scenario, the more, the better, right? I was not planning to let him crush me. 21 - 7 my ass. Pfft, who said I will lose so badly?

And then he suggested. “Want to practice serves?”

“Sure,” I nodded. “Why not?”

Remember, it's a dream, it plays at any speed I want it to play. In slow motion, he kicked the ball up, and I saw the label moving in circles. Bam! Back to the real speed. The ball hit my side of the table, changed the direction, and whooshed past me at an astounding speed. I didn't even have time to blink.

“Losers fetch the balls.” Nick motioned with the paddle towards the green velvet couch. I heard the ball still bouncing fast somewhere under it from the wicked spin.

“Where the fuck is it?” I mumbled, fussing on all four in front of the couch.

“Oh oh, you don't want to yearn extras for cursing. But, please get acquainted with the couch and let me indulge in the view.” He referred to my extra revealing shorts. “Do bend more.”

Strawberry Filled Forever

Happy Strawberry-filled Croissant Day! 🍓

Because what can brighten your Sunday morning more than a freshly baked croissant filled with cream and strawberries, hmm?

Funny how this image singlehandedly brings together my two favourite characters: Nick loves strawberries, and Izzie can kill for a proper croissant.

Any Beatles fans out there? 

Pigtails Spanking Story: Bloody Green (Revisited)

Nick stands in the bathroom doorway with a toothbrush in his mouth, staring at the back of Izzie’s head that sticks just above the couch. With her straight spine, long neck, her hair in two high pigtails rolled into mini buns on the top of her head, she does look like a meerkat, not as horny now as before but still always ready to go.

He watched her, the whole process. How first she split all her her in two and made high ponytails. Nick noticed how loose her hair was, that he could easily slide his hand underneath the hair tie, close to her scalp, how safe it would be to pull her hair like that. They both enjoyed hair pulling as a kink, one on the giving, the other one the receiving end. And recently discussed how hair pulling gone wrong could lead to the most horrendous of consequences, including snapping one's neck. Not on Nick's watch, of course, but seeing Izzie putting an extra effort to make it easier for him was endearing.

She braided each ponytail into a scrawny but long pigtail. What a disastrous name for something so innocent and sweet! Then she rolled each pigtail into a bun and secured the loose end under the same hair tie. There we go, the meerkat look unknowingly accomplished.

Now Izzie stares at her phone screen, and Nick tiptoes and peeks over her shoulder: it's their latest banter.

Izzie:

Bathroom before bedtime?

                        Nicky:

                         Sure.

I want more rough.

                        Rougher. I want more brattiness.

Screw you.

                        You. Gladly.

Nick tiptoes back to his post at the bathroom door, it's time to get the show on the road. He takes the toothbrush out and clears his throat. No reaction from the meerkat beside a small jerk of her head, the one you bestow on an annoying fly. He wishes he could nuzzle into that soft spot on her neck, but, no, this has to wait, he has a job to do first. Nick whistles softly, and Izzie turns around with a frown.

"Did you just whistle?" she scoffs aghast.

"Uh-huh," he grins.

"Care to explain?"

"Feels better than to text you. I'm going to bed."

"Yeah. And?" Someone ordered more brattiness? Bring it on.

Nick disappears in the bathroom to rinse his mouth. "You have ten minutes to turn in. As per our rules, remember?" He reappears with a towel, wiping his face.

"And if I won't, what will you do? Let it slip again?"

"Watch it, young lady!"

"You watch it. I'm reading."

"No electronics before bedtime. Eight minutes."

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" She brushes against him on her way, nudging him out with the bathroom door.

Nick waits till he hears the toilet flushing and opens the door again. "Someone needs an attitude adjustment, don't you think?"

"I'm here, it's eight minutes. Duh!"

"I said, attitude. Maybe to give you a little taste of how it will feel like, when I won't let it slip, as you graciously worded my shortcomings." He sinks his hand in her hair and tugs her head up, forcing her to look at his reflection in the mirror. "Colour?"

"Green."

“Green who?” Nick quirks an eyebrow.

“Green, sir,” Izzie corrects herself quickly. No hesitation here.

Nick releases the pigtails from their hair tie prison. Izzie pouts in silence.

"I want to see them sway, the pigtails, when I spank you." Nick nudges a pigtail to swing like a pendulum. Izzie gasps, and Nick pauses to let it sink. For the first time ever, he did something for himself. The swaying pigtails, that was for him only, for his viewing pleasure. And Izzie's tiny but triumphant gasp only confirmed the significance of this moment.

He folds her arms on the vanity top, and pushes her shoulders down till they land on her arms, while his other hand peels off her shorty shorts and white lace panties. Smack! The pigtails bounce as on cue.

He bends over to whisper in her ear. "I will tan your hide regardless, but will it be the good girl tanning or the bad girl's?"

"Good girl, please."

"As you wish."

In her three-inch espadrilles and shoulder wide stance, her small bum sticks up high in the air. Nick kicks her feet back closer together with his foot, always thinking forward, not to hit accidentally between her legs, only to confirm how impossibly different he is. He sets into an unrelenting pattern of an open hand swat and squeeze, swat and squeeze.

"I don't think that will do, because you were not a good girl today.” Smack! “You were a complete brat, that is.” A harder smack! “A very disrespectful brat." He pauses to rummage through the vanity drawers and picks up a hairbrush.

"No, not the brush," she jerks away. The hairbrush reminds her of the self-spanking days, not a trigger but kind of off-limits. Ah, what the hell, it was worth a try to add some spice to their otherwise orchestrated scene, thanks so very much.

Smack! "Are you telling me what to do?" He promptly drops the hairbrush back in the drawer and slams it shut. "Bad girls don't get to choose." Smack! "Bad girls get what they deserve. Hold it there."

Nick leaves and comes back with the belt. Izzie rises up while locking eyes with him in the mirror, gleefully in sync, and he pushes her shoulders down again. He keeps his left hand on the back of her neck, with both pigtails in his fist. 

"Colour?"

"Bloody green." Izzie grits her teeth.

"Blood is actually red." Nick tugs at the pigtails. "Let's try it again. Colour?"

"Green, sir." Gulps down. Eyes down. Ready...

All said and done, they are in a so familiar embrace. Nick perks on the wide edge of the tub with Izzie curled up on his lap. He pulls a plush towel from the towel warmer on the wall and wraps her in it.

"Thank you, sir." Izzie murmurs into his chest.

"Hope the thanks were for the warm towel." Nick tries to weed out the hair ties with one hand, without pulling on her hair. He chokes on that thought, how careful he is now, not to cause any extra pain, after what he just did to her.

"You know they weren't." There is so much love and tenderness in her voice, her soft embrace. It breaks and melts his heart in the most unexplainable way.

"Can you drop it already?" Nick's fingers trail through Izzie's hair, unbraiding the pigtails into lush wavy curls, getting her ready for bed.

"You like your buzzwords and rituals, I like mine," Izzie says. A peaceful protest. Surprisingly, even in her post-spanking haze, Izzie stands her ground.

“Which bottle can I use?” Nick nods at the array of bottles and jars on Izzie’s side of the vanity. 

“Anything but that glass jar, it's an expensive face cream.”

“I think that's exactly what I will use. Your sore bum is no less important.” Nick hums contentedly their own Bottom Song to the tune of some long-forgotten lullaby, while rubbing the cream over her reddened cheeks. But the pause between the chorus lines is getting longer, his hand just hovers over her bum now. Nick, only surviving there, a wind-up toy with no juice left, the last splash of energy spent on moving them back in the bedroom to crash onto the bed.

"It's over, Nicky. It's all good. You did so well. I'm so proud of you." Izzie coos as she strokes his hair, caresses his stubble, traces his eyebrow.

"We are not normal, aren't we? Isn't it I'm who's supposed to praise you?" he sighs with a little glint, a sure indication that he’s coming back to life.

She reaches under the covers to check on him. More of a perfunctory check to switch his mind to what's coming next. "Mmm, you're ready for the fun part." She reaches over for the lube bottle and puts tons of it on her bum hole, the only place between her legs that's not wet yet.

A whiff of strawberries with some flowery undertone hits his nose. "What's that smell?"

"Strawberry lavender. You like strawberries, I like lavender, so I made the lube myself." 

"You made it??" This woman will never seize to surprise him.

"It's not a rocket science, you know," she shrugs off his question. "Just added some oils for the scent. I should run a workshop, make your own lube."

"Please don't," his voice finally soft and calm. "By the way, oils are not safe for condoms."

"Thanks for the PSA, Mister Know-it-all." Izzie rolls her eyes. "I made it for us. Ready?"

His eyes squint in a jubilant smirk. "I'm not done with you, pigtails girl. Hands and knees. Now!"

My apologies to those who read the original version. I wanted to elaborate on pigtails and hair pulling plot. Also, if anyone knows the author of this magnificent painting, please let me know, I will gladly add the credit.

EDIT: thank you, JM! The painting is: Bound(2014) by Ray Caesar

To Molly, thank you for the inspiration. This story was dead without the proper pigtails.

EDIT: Also, submitting to Saturday Spankings Blog because it was a hectic week IRL. Hopefully Headmistress Blake will not be too harsh and forgive my audacity.

Dreams of summer

Why the geese? Because they are BACK!!! You know what it means? That the spring is really really here, despite all the snow, there is no turning back. So, to all the good things to come: shorts, sundresses, flip-flops (on my feet or not, see the footnote), lavender fields, the smell of fresh strawberries, the smell of fresh cut grass, what else? tan lines!! Sore dreams of summer...

Footnote on flip-flops, sandals, and other flat footwear: 

Hermione recently posted about slippering here. And while I recalled reading the Marrakesh story (here) but there was something else I couldn't pinpoint that day. Only today it hit me, it was the beautiful spanking story I un-earthed one day on Erica's site, as she called it, My favourite spanking story. For you reading pleasure, read it here

Love Me Tender part 2

For part 1 click here

"It was not a nightmare or a disaster back then. It was what it was, and I didn't want to change it, but I wanted to have it with you. With you." 

Nope, she didn't get the memo. She puts her hand on his shoulder, and he tries to shake it off, but she keeps her hand there. 

"You would never believe that I wanted it, that it was my doing, unless I would put you through it, for which I'm really sorry. I'm truly sorry. Can you hear me?" 

"I can hear you." His voice is low and muffled but clear enough.

Izzie can't see his face now, buried in the pillows, but when he came back, she saw that his eyes were still red and puffy. Nick doesn't cry, period. Except that time after the knee accident, but then again, he was high as a kite, accidentally overdosed. Nick would not cry from pain. He would shut down, collapse, throw up, but not cry. But he did just throw up. Is he in pain and hiding it? 

"I said, I'm sorry," she repeats. Nick's hand snakes out from under the pillow and wraps around her legs. "Aldous didn't speak to me for a week and moved to another bedroom. He would come down for dinner, and we would eat in silence, on our honeymoon." 

Izzie pulls the pillow that covers his head, and he lets her, but promptly turns his head the other way. "So, Nick, if you want to do better, it's your hour to shine. You can take another shower, drink whiskey, have a smoke, scream into the wilderness, but I want you back, preferably soon, with your magic fingers and a dirty story to go with it." She lets her words sink. Nick stirs in silence. "And bring me some strawberries from the fridge on your way back."

This is simple, strawberries, fridge. He can do simple things. Nick takes his sweet time as he stumbles to the kitchen and back. He waits by the bed till she bites into the first one, and the smell, the smell of ripe strawberries and summer reminds him of what he wanted to do for what seems like eternity, to kiss her on the lips. 

"I like when you taste like strawberries." 

"I know." She breaks the kiss. "Go, Nicky, get some fresh air and come back with a story." 

It's not about me, it's not about me, it's not about me. It's about her, and Her Highness gets what Her Highness wants. The princess and the strawberries, I can work with that. 

Izzie smiles at how red his lips are, not just kiss-swollen, but from the strawberry juice he picked from her. In her daze, she watches as he slides down to put his head on her lap and presses his lips, red lips, against the white fabric. There is no way he won't freak out, the second he lifts his head, the second he sees the red stain. Izzie slides her hands under his cheeks to lift his head and asks him to close his eyes, and he does, he does, till she shudders from trying too hard to stay calm. His eyes widen in horror, the same horror as when she screamed from pain, and he immediately came inside her. 

This time he stumbles out of the room in no time, grabbing his jeans from the floor, and into the kitchen. 

"I will change! Nick, come back."  

To be continued.

Sweeter than macarons

Nick shifts on his feet, clearly aware of his shortcomings in the gifts department. Don't get me wrong, he showered Izzie with flowers in all shades of white, her favourite colour, including lotuses from Thailand, flew in macarons from Paris, and bought even more sets of lingerie in white, pink, and lavender, granted the last part was more for him than for her. But last night, when Izzie mentioned that she wants a gift that money can't buy, it was a bit of a short notice.

Now, she was tapping her white pearl nails against an open Valentine card, with four lines in his neat, almost calligraphic handwriting.

Lotus is white
And so is Izzie's skin 
Not where it's tanned
But the parts only I can see. 

Her hand hovers over to the box of macarons in all colours of the rainbow and zooms onto the dark pink one. Nick grins, as she already ate one of those and he kissed her after, tasting of strawberries, his favourite. Now her breath will smell of strawberries again, lovely.

"Hallmark quality?" he sheepishly nods at the card.  

"Please don't quit your day job." Izzie's tongue picks out to lick off the crumbs from the corner of her mouth.

"May I?" Nick gestures at the envelope sealed with red wax that suspiciously looks like the low temperature candles they had fun with last week.

"All yours," Izzie bites her lower lip, suppressing the smug.

Nick breaks the seal, and a single sheet of handmade paper slips out of the envelope. Izzie's handwriting is not as neat as his own, but it's the lines, the burning words that make him stumble and blush.

Sweeter than rainbow macarons
Bitter than darkest chocolate 
Sound that makes me swoon 
Sting that causes to choke on it

Redder than any roses
Thorns peeling layers away
Wonderful metamorphosis 
It's the only way

Laughing at silly jokes
Or biting on pretty please
Squirming under the strokes
Down on hands and knees

Spending the day in harmony
Melting the stubborn guilt
Ruin me, mark me, pound me
This day stays, roses wilt

And without saying a word, Nick obliges. All. Day. Long.

Love Me Tender

Let' start the Valentine Day week with this throwback to the earlier chapter in Izzie and Nick relationship, when they just started exploring their kinks and roleplay.

When Nick comes back from the bathroom, Izzie is sitting against the headboard, in the same white nightie, now down to her knees, legs stretched and crossed, no doubts, it is his Izzie, somber eyes, tight lips, ready to read him the riot act. Nick falls on the bed, face down in the pillows, if she doesn't get the hint, he pulls another pillow over his head.

Red flags, where do I start? What can go wrong, if you both have some sort of virginity kink to work through and decide to roleplay a do-over of the first time, her first time? Everything! Nick has been with a virgin only once when he was twenty, and she was eighteen, it was not bad, but he could do so much better now, if he could give some advice to his twenty-years-old self. Ha! Right, define 'better'. Nick always knew that something went wrong between Izzie and Aldous on their wedding night. No judgement, but seriously? Then again, she was only twenty, doing only ballet, and that douche Aldous was watching her like a dog and not letting anyone near her since she was sixteen.

Izzie wanted to start everything from scratch, a fresh start. And if it meant to replace Aldous in popping her cherry, Nick is in, pun thoroughly intended. All joking aside, if it would help her to put Thailand behind, he would do anything. Their sex life went back to normal, but she still had her nightmares. and he still hasn’t seen her fully naked, she would always leave something on. He asked her once, if a sleeping mask counts as clothes, she laughed but that was it. He would say and do anything to hear her laugh.

They decided to do it on the weekend, in the most remote chalet in that ski village they both liked. Good choice! Izzie announced it on Tuesday and kicked him out of her bedroom to make sure that by Friday night he will be horny as hell.

When they were finally alone, he didn't even notice when everything went pear-shaped and turned into a shitshow. It was not his Izzie there but her twenty-year-old version, wide eyed, antsy, jittery, restless. That's when Nick asked her to call the whole thing off for the first time. She insisted that they need to consummate their marriage, or it's not real. He wanted to calm her down, but she wouldn't let him talk. It felt like they were in Jumanji, trapped on this giant bed. Her anxiety spread onto him like a wildfire, he was shaking like a leaf, like it was his first time too. They kissed like two horny teenagers, not aware of the existence of the third base. Real Izzie would be soaking wet by then. Young Izzie didn't let him touch her or kiss her anywhere below her waist, let alone undress her.

She asked him to take everything off, and her eyes widened even more, when she looked down, like she'd never seen a naked man before. It was surreal. Her tanned face went pale. He begged her to stop. She asked him to make babies, right now. She laid on her back, pulled the nightie up, and opened her legs. He saw that she still had her panties on. They both blushed as he pushed her knees back together and lifted her bum to slide the panties off. And again, her legs fell open for him.  He knew that Izzie could flex and hold any muscle of her body, but it felt insanely tight. He stopped and asked her, he does not remember what he asked her, but she grabbed his shoulders and demanded not to stop until it's over. And as gently and slowly as he could, he did. Love Me Tender Award of the Year.

He noticed the forgotten bottles of lube and the lavender oil on the nightstand. Izzie never needed lube, they used lubes and oils just for fun. Now he wished he would remember to use it. What if he would pull out and put some, will she notice? It's still unbearably tight. Izzie, that loved rough sex, any sex, was motionless under him. She was quiet at last, and he whispered dirty nothings into her ear. She blushed and finally smiled. She lifted her hips, and he helped her to wrap her legs around him. He kissed her before picking up the pace. He was watching her face, eyes shut tight, mouth open, forming little o's with every shallow thrust. They were doing great, all things considered. He wanted to bite down that lip to stop it from quivering. He leaned forward when she opened her eyes, full of tears she couldn't hold back anymore, and screamed at the top of her lungs, screamed his name, a scream that turned into uncontrollable sobs, and his world turned upside down.

"Nick?" Izzie pulls him back into the present.

How on earth did this happen, how could he misread it so badly, the signs that she was in pain, that quivering lip? Nick presses his hands on top of the pillow that covers his head, an international sign for 'I don't want to hear a word'. But yet she speaks.

For part 2 click here

It's time - part 1

For part 2 click here: Azotarme duro

It's one of those recurring dreams that you know beat-by-beat and every painstaking detail of it, but still, there is always something new, something that will throw you for a loop, make you pang at the end, and wake up, shaking and drenched in cold sweat.

    The first difference was that Nick was in it, sitting next to her, in a black tux, a crisp white shirt with a blue velvet bowtie, surprisingly still tied around his neck, more handsome than ever, if that was even humanly possible. One hand on the back of her neck, toying with the clasp of her pearl choker necklace and loose strands of hair. In his other hand he holds up another strawberry for her to bite on, the red juice dripping into his palm, high enough for her to comfortably lean to, far enough not to stain her white wedding dress. The venue of five hundred faceless guests buzzes in a blur. Nick looks at her and her only, like feeding her with these overripe strawberries that smell of summer is what he was put on this earth for.

    The faceless best man quiets the crowd and delivers his speech, punctuated by prompt eruptions of laughter. When he mentions for the third time that today Izzie got all her dreams come true, she clears her throat, straightens her already straight back, and gestures for a microphone.

    She gulps down her fear and speaks up, enunciating every syllable, "I dream of... I want to be whipped with a belt senseless," the crowd grows silent,  "through sobs and pleas, and then some." The strawberry rolls out of Nick's fingers and onto the white dress, leaving a bloody path behind. His eyes round into a silent 'no' full of terror that quickly changes into the one of a quiet fury. "And after that, rogered six ways to Sunday."

    The back of her brain registers a collective gasp and soaks up the utter humiliation. Blushing bride indeed, she feels the rush of blood to her cheeks, creeping up with red.

    The faceless best man picks up the mic that dropped on the table with a thud. The band picks up where it left with some ridiculously cheerful tune. The silence fills back with murmur.

    Nick's fingers, sticky from the strawberry juice, intertwine with hers. "Not sure which part you should dread more." He lifts her hand to kiss the knuckles. "Such a lovely blush, red suits you," his thumb brushes against her burning cheek. "So, you want your other cheeks in a matching colour?"

    "Look at me," his other hand, still grazing her nape, now firmly guides her to look up. This doesn't sound like Nick, this conversation that never happened has Aldous all over it. Like Aldous's words coming out of Nick's mouth.

    Nick rises on his feet, pulling her up with him. "It's time." It's time, echoes in her head, the time-honored code phrase that means only one thing, for those who know. It's time.

For part 2 click here: Azotarme duro

May I have another?

Not surprisingly, Nick feels more comfortable within the roleplay scenario, especially our own tried-and-true. He knows now that he is not hurting me but being able to experience it as a different persona, allows him to relax and truly enjoy it, and who am I to complain.

    My mermaid costume got more mileage with a new twist, in order to get her wish granted, new legs and all, the Mermaid has to be spanked by the Fisherman. And if Princess Summer bumps into the Peasant Boy while prancing around her lavender fields, needless to say, the next morning her royal bum requires an extra pillow to sit on. The only one he refuses to repeat is Milord and Milady’s wedding night, a hint, Milord has a swordbelt. Well, virginity is one of my kinks he’s not happy to oblige. Funny enough that was the first time when he deliberately differentiated Milord from Nick and mercilessly pecked at Nick.

    In Nick's version of all-time fans’ favourite, Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf got married and lived happily ever after. Unless, of course, Red happens to cook up a storm, packs some freshly baked empanadas and home-made pickles, and goes to visit her grandmother, or, ahem, some girlfriend in New York, alone, ditching the security, again. Then all bets are off, as Wolfie takes the security rule too close to his heart, and no lingerie set, even red, will distract him from the task at hand or in hand. Red is a very sorry good girl after everything is said and done, mostly done. This one had too much resemblance to real life, for my liking. 

    But roleplaying as Dom and sub? That’s Dominant and submissive for you, vanilla people, although I doubt that anyone needs a translation since The Fifty came out. How is it different from actually being D/s in the bedroom, beats me, no pun intended. Are we gradually slipping into the bedroom D/s? I don’t know, don’t fix what’s not broken. Nick-what-Nick, it’s Sir for you, young lady.

    “Are you going to count this one, or shall I start again?” Nick raises an eyebrow.

    “No, Sir. One. Thank you, Sir.”

    We are on the same couch that Nick promised to burn after the Disaster, in the same position, my knees on the seat, bent at the waist, head on the folded hands on the back of the couch, hair in a high ponytail. I wear my favourite short dress with long sleeves, it’s comfortable and loose enough for an easy access. Nick says that access should be my middle name, you know, Izzie Access, yeah, Nick and his dad jokes.

    I glance at him over my shoulder and catch a tiny devilish twinkle in his eyes. What a sight! When he came in after work, he already took his suit jacket off and held it in his hand, while tugging at the tie with the other. He always looks strikingly handsome, like a teenager in a forty-four-year-old body, but now in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the undone tie hanging loose around the open collar, just wow. I looked perfect fifteen years ago, he is perfect now. Nick clears his throat and combs hair to the side with his hand, his version of ‘eyes up here’. The long and bumpy road that brought us to this moment was all worth it. I smile at the thought, and Nick beams back with pride.

    “Good girl. You're welcome." Nick is oozing with buzzwords, and so am I. The edge of the belt taps my bare cheek. “Back in the position.” Swat.

    “Two. Thank you, Sir. May I have another?”

    “You may,” he smirks at a classic phrase, “but no need for such formality. Are you trying to slow me down?" Three more strokes come in a quick succession.

    “Three, four, five, Sir,” I quip.

    “No, darling, that was extra for stalling.” Sir is in a playful mood but does not hesitate to add extra swats for any infraction, bogus or real. Shocking how much his aim had improved. I don’t want to know where he gets the tips on his belting technique, but now he holds the business end with the other hand and lets it go the last moment, so there is no more twisting, but ouch, he can aim for the same spot and get it, if he wants to.

    My hand flies back to cover my butt, and he catches it just in time, the belt landing on my thighs, quelle surprise, as a reprimand for trying to block. It hurts like hell. “Nick, you bloody bastard!”

    “Ah!" Nick gasps for air with a thoroughly faked offence. "I don't even know what number to assign to such obscenity.”

    “Then don't!” I slap my hand on the back of the couch and straighten my back.

    “Colour?”

    “Bloody green, get on with it.” The hand on the small of my back nudges me down.

    “Who is that Nick fella?" Swat. "I asked you a question."

    “No one, sir.”

    “Then why do I keep hearing his name from you, hmm?”

    “Won't happen again, sir.”

    “Was he a lousy lay?” he lays the trap. Ouch!

    "Yes, sir. No." Smack! I bit my tongue. "No one is like you, sir."

    "Too late," he withdraws. The belt buckle hits the floor with a loud clang. "Corner!"

    “There are no corners in this room,” I protest. It’s so unfair! That question doesn’t have a right answer, whatever I say, he can turn it against me.

    “Have no doubts, I’ll make one for you.” He promptly drags the heavy armchair out of the corner and taps the wall. I pull up my panties and head over. “I do not recall giving you a permission to put your panties back on.”

    “Sorry, sir.” He is still there, standing by the corner. He wouldn’t move, and I have to squeeze in to get into my not so solitary destination.

    “I'm not done with you, young lady,” he scowls as he pulls the panties down himself.

    “Thank you, sir,” I whisper.

    “For what?”

    I can feel him pressing against my back. What does it mean? He wanted me badly, I screwed up, he put me in the corner, and now he can’t find a way out. Sir needs help, my Baby Dom needs help. Helping is not topping, helping is guiding.

    “For not being done with me." I turn around to see his reaction.

    “Nose to the wall.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “Did you have to say it?” he lilts in his signature English accent.  

    “Nnn--,” I stutter, “Sir said it first, I just confirmed, I’m sorry.”

    “Well, you shouldn't have.”

    “It’s not fair. It’s hard to think when my ass is on fire.”

    “Your bum,” his hand promptly smacks my bum. “Or bottom, rear, behind, backside. So many excellent choices.” The art of punctuating, another one he mastered recently. He so rarely spanks me with his hand, I don’t know what to make of it. With his super low pain tolerance, just a few smacks send him howling, so he either decided to suck it in or maxed out on his daily painkillers just to indulge me.

    “I'm truly sorry.” I turn around again to face him, and this time he doesn’t stop me.

    “You will be sorrier.” Hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels, that’s more like it.

    “May I please come back?”

    “You surely may,” he gestures back to the couch. I trudge back with the panties around the ankles. I make it look more difficult than it is, anything to distract Nick from his funk.

    “Nick looks very much like Sir, same eyes, same hair.”

    “Same dick?” he wonders matter-of-factly, as he helps me to climb back on the couch.

    “I would never compare Sir's cock with another--"

    “Pray tell,” he nods, pleased that I switched to the allowed nomenclature of body parts.

    “Only Sir knows what I truly need and gives it to me. Will you please forgive me?”

    “In due time.”

    “Will you please help me earn your forgiveness?” Why is it that one of us always have to screw up and crawl back, only this time it’s also my butt on the line.

    He finally picks up the belt from the floor and folds it in half. Here goes the scolding and the lecture rolled in one, punctuated with the loud blows for the extra clarity, but his anguish and disappointment hurt more than the sting of the belt.

    “Whom do you belong to?”

    “You, Sir.”

    “Whom do you obey?”

    “You, Sir.”

    “Who takes care of you?”

    “You, Sir.”

    “Makes you happy?”

    “You, Sir.”

    “What about Nick?” he pauses.

    “I need both you and Nick in my life. No," I raise my hand to stop him and turn around. "I need Nick more than I need you, Sir. With all due respect, without Nick, none of this matter." His face is mere inches away from mine, hurt melting away from his eyes. It takes all my willpower not to close the distance. I do not touch Sir without permission, Sir touches me, Sir uses me as he deems fit, Sir most definitely does not kiss.

    Nick’s lips, as always, taste like strawberries, duh, he’s addicted to the strawberry gum and probably had a strawberry mousse cake in strawberry reduction for dessert. He picks me up to carry to bed. Sir is gone, it’s all Nick now, his strawberry lips all over me, bringing me to the oh-mon-dieu-Nicky moment in a record time. He follows me with a sing-a-song ‘oh darling’ instead of the usual ‘oh fuck’ and collapses beside me, both of us sinking quickly into a deep dreamless sleep, and I cannot be happier.