Thursday, March 30, 2023

Hurt Not Harm

An incredible account of a journey from vanilla to Master from his perspective. There are so many bottoms/submissives journeys and so little from Tops/Doms/Masters.

Found it on Tumblr on Scarlet's Real Magic page (here), she has a fantastic blog. No idea how to re-blog from Tumblr, so just copied here with back link. The picture is mine.




The very first time we spent a night together, I playfully swatted your backside during sex. I wasn’t prepared for the reaction, but something in my brain registered it. Your face lit up, your whole body reacted and you closed your eyes in satisfaction. That time, that was all it was, a few tame swats in the middle of sex to get your attention. Something lingered though.

Months later, we began to talk about spanking. I had a hard time getting my head around it. Of course I understood pain and how it can excite, we had a ready begun to dance around that idea. But I struggled with so much of this. Could I hit you, with intent? How would it feel to make your cheeks redden, or still, bruise you? Why did you want this? What would you get from it? What could I get from it? What if I hurt you? How would this come to be? Wouldn’t it feel like role play, to have you over me knee? Etc, etc, etc …

You were incredibly patient and considerate. You explained time after time even though you found it difficult and uncomfortable to express your needs, you gave me space to think, to question, and in turn, to try. You felt my lack of surety, you explained and guided me again and again. Yes, submissives guide their Masters too. This was in our early (ish) days, I wasn’t your Master at that point in truth.

The path to spanking has been slow, and probably for you, tortuous. But I had to be sure of my step each time. I had to understand and be confident. Light slaps became firmer. I began to use spanking as another way to control and focus you when you lost it. Stopping mid-devotion when I could feel you spinning out of control to put you over my knee and centre you.

I began to find a way to use it for me, and for us. I found my way to make it fit into our way. All the time you’d patiently waited for me to get to where you knew I need to be.

The first time you slowly crawled across my knee, you looked at me and smiled. A smile of permission, a smile that asked, pleaded. As I spanked you firmly, purposefully, I felt your body tense then relax. Cries of pain and relief, sobs of acceptance. I watched in satisfaction as your arse reddened, leaving my mark behind on you. My mark of ownership. The dots in my mind began to join up.

This week there was another shift. The spanking was no longer just about you. I needed it. I needed to push you and challenge you. I had you bend over, hands on the bed frame. I hit you far harder and with more confidence and intent than ever before. It hurt, I know it did, it was supposed to. Afterwards you described it as being “on the edge of too much” and I felt such pride, that was exactly where I’d wanted to take you. I calmed you when it got too much, held you when your legs felt weak, and when I knew you could take no more, I stopped. But I wanted you to accept what I wanted to give you, for my own needs. I was so proud of you.

This week, we’ve completed a circle. I spanked you because I wanted to, because I wanted to hurt you and test you, I wanted you to take it for me. You wanted me to spank you because you need the pain and the challenge to centre you, to feel your submission so deeply, you would give me whatever I wanted, because you wanted to show me you will never ever quit, and will give me anything to please me.

Days later you showed me the pinkness of your arse and where once I would’ve wrestled guilt and concern, I felt just one emotion. Pride. I did that. You took that.

I marked you and you are mine.

Pride in each other and your ownership of me.

I love who we are with each other and for each other.

Beautiful steps to freedom for you both.

(via toysmaestro)

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